Parent Fail

Ok so I've posted my Elf on the Shelf calendar previously on the blog, and I've even purchased every item needed for our elf's escapades this month. We have been getting penny so excited for Phoebe to arrive tonight. I will be honest, I was feeling on top of my game when we were ready to bring crazy Phoebe out of her box....and then I freaking realize we lost Phoebe. I opened her box and that elf just up and dissappeared!!! I'm sure she got the shaft when it was time to put all the holiday decor away last year and perhaps ended up in the recycling bin. I do not know where that damn elf is. We looked everywhere! Bad side of living in Logan is we don't have a target, so no luck in just picking up another one!! Maybe ill find one somewhere tomorrow but we had no such luck tonight. Here's our attempt at covering our butts...

Minnie Mouse dominos can fix anything, right?!

View into heaven

We just had a really neat experience. We found out Tuck's birth dad is going on a LDS mission yesterday. We're not in contact with him so we didn't know until we saw it on FB. Anyways, I reached out to congratulate him and tell him how proud we are of him, he responded and surprisingly invited us to his farewell today. I guess his family kept Tuck and the adoption on the DL so we were nervous about talking to anyone, we just wanted to show our support. His mom caught our eye, and just started balling. I can not imagine how hard it would be to be in her situation. I hope she felt at peace seeing her adorable grandchild and to see just how well he's doing. It was wonderful to give her a big hug and just share a special moment. Open adoptions are complicated, but they are truly a view into heaven. We've never felt God's love stronger then through the process of adopting our babies. What a tremendous blessing it is to see our kids birth parents do great things with their lives. We love them more than they'll ever realize. We're so blessed to have these amazing selfless kids in our lives. I would never be as brave and selfless to do what they did, but I can promise them that I never take their beautiful gift for granted. We cherish our babies beyond this world, we pretty much worship the ground they walk on. Our open adoptions have given us great insight into the sacrifice it took for Gabe and I to be parents. We will always do everything in our power to give our kids the lives their birth parents hoped for them.

I have the best clients ever!!!

Just got this awesome text from my sweet client Andy. What a bad a she is!!!! She so inspires me to be better. Keep killing it girl!!!

Christmas traditions

Christmas tree decorated: check!

I am so in love with the smell and experience of getting a live tree every year. I'm grateful Gabe is dedicated to making holidays extra special for our family, and doesn't complain about the hassle of it. It means a ton to me because holidays were never made to be that big of a deal in my family. I have 3 big brothers that could care less about the magic of christmas and my parents just never got into it, so it was quite lackluster in their home to say the least. I think it's for that reason that I get so excited about every little detail. I'm like a big kid creating the Christmas I always wanted. It's such an honor to be a parent and to have the opportunity to create a magical experience for them. I wish I could freeze time with my babies this holiday season!

Jeannie Bean

I had a wonderful evening with my sweet Aunt Jeannie. It made me so happy to see her light up around my babies. Tucker sat her lap, so content, for about 10 minutes. It was the happiest I've seen Jeannie in a long time. She's always loved kids, but with her Alzheimer's it's hit and miss if she'll be able to enjoy them that day. Today she was able to, and I am so grateful for that. Such a perfect way to end our Thanksgiving. 

Party at Golds!

Happy Thanksgiving Fit Fam!!! I hope everyone was able to get a killer pump in this morning. I just went to Golds in Provo, and this stupid grin on my face is bc I ran into a good friend from my comp @gymlifeforevs and an IG idol @vattiera. I'm realizing just how small the competition community is in UT! You quickly start seeing everyone from IG at any major gym. Love it!!! Super inspiring to see these bad ass women getting work done. Enjoy your holiday everyone!!

Car trips with kids are awesome

I love road trips with a 3 & 1 yr old. Like they are so much fun, Id really like to do them a lot more...said no one ever!!!!! In a desperate attempt to comfort Tuck we have him Gabes big gulp, we were really desperate. We started the trip with a clean car and it looks like a war zone now. 

...here I am trying to zone the hell out. I'm blasting old skill hip hop through my seinheusers. Let's just say I've never been so anxious to arrive in Happy Valley!!!

Packed & prepped

Packed, prepped, and ready to head out of town for the holiday. We're only going for 24 hrs so I didn't have to bring TOO much food. We're having an early Thanksgiving this year bc our family is going to CO tomorrow. We weren't up for all the traveling with our little ones, and we've got a lot on our plate with our new restaurant. Anyways, I got a solid workout in earlier, and I'm excited to enjoy some delicious food tonight!!!

Taco Salad

This pic doesn't do this meal justice. Taco seasoned ground turkey w/onions & yellow peppers, quinoa, and thousand island yogurt dressing. It would have been even better if I had iceberg lettuce. This is a perfect meal to prepare a ton of and eat for days. I'll be bringing this with me when I go out of town for Thanksgiving. I'll double my dinner recipe tonight as well so I have some more meals prepped for the holiday weekend. Prepare, prepare, prepare!!!

Motivating jams

I'm mildly embarrassed to admit how much I love this song. I effing killed my cardio listening to it on full blast. Having the right music to motivate me is imperative to having a good workout....Lalalalala

Healthy alternatives

Last year at this time I was stuffing my face with the popcorn on the right-black & white drizzle corn. Although it is def delicious, it was getting me no where close to my goals!!! Now I fit some Boom Chicka Pop-sprinkled with Garlic Parm kettle seasonings-into my daily macros. I love my salty snacks! I can do away with sweets, but I'm hurting for starch when I diet down! Thankfully I can easily fit this popcorn into macros, all the while meeting my goals. I can't say it enough, I'm in love with IIFYM...and popcorn.

Progress pics

Time to hustle hard!! I've got some major work to do, but that's ok! Let's see what this body can do in 10 weeks!!!!

Almond joy pancakes

Just made these super yummy chocolate protein pancakes. I unfortunately didn't have the coconut to make them a real almond joy pancake as @cleaneats_kenzie intended, but they were delicious nonetheless. I substituted almond flour and Mexican vanilla forthe coconut flour and coconut extract. What I love most about protein pancakes is that there is endless concoctions you can put together and they're forgiving! I've yet to make an unedible batch(and that's really saying something bc I am NOT good at cooking). I also love how full they make you. If I am having an ultra beast mode hunger kind of day, protein pancakes are able to tame the furious beast. An additional treat that I got while making these...

was this delightful mess. At least she painted in her unders and didn't ruin her cute outfit. Here's to some afternoon clean-up. Agh.

Little Miss Magic

I am so incredibly honored that I get to work with this inspiring woman right here. Andy and I connected through IG a few months ago. I was so touched by her adoption story and committment to her precious baby, Little Miss Magic. I've followed their family's difficult journey handling Miss Magic's illness. They've  spent the last 6 weeks in the hospital waiting for a donor match for a liver transplant, unfortunately it didn't come in time, and Miss Magic left this world last week. Andy's strength through this trial has been humbling to witness, to say the least. Awhile back Andy expressed that she wanted to compete to show her little girl that she could be strong. That's the purest motivation in the world, and I'm simply floored by it. Andy and I started making plans last week about prep and we decided to get started right away! I can't express how privileged I am to work with her. I have the clearest vision of her on stage, dedicating this achievement to her angel. I know that Little Miss Magic will be right by her mama's side helping her to be strong. Please make sure to follow Andy on IG and offer her a lot of support and encouragement, @life_love_laughter5. I love you Andy!! I can't wait to help this goal come to fruition!!!

Rough day

Today has not been my day. I was pulling out of the gym parking lot, and I totally hit a parked car. I am so embarrassed and just feel SO dumb. I seriously don't even know how I managed to do this much damage. The car I hit actually came out unscathed, I have no idea how that happened either. The woman was so kind, I totally broke down when I realized what I did, and without even looking at the damage she told me, "honey, you don't even worry! It's only a material thing. Just get home safely."...well I did worry, but thankfully no damage was done. I mentioned yesterday struggling with seasonal depression, and today's incident made me realize I need to reevaluate my medications! Sometimes, it take crappy things like this to take action so I'm going to the doctor tomorrow. I'm so grateful my family is ok, and that I didn't hurt anyone else. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.

Winter is here

Since winter has set in I've been battling a little bit of seasonal depression. I have to fight it hard every winter!! I actually enjoy the cold but it's these grey skies that just zap me. I've got to just focus that much harder on my goals and stay really busy. My mind plays tricks on me when I'm feeling this way, but I just have to remember how far I've come and that I can absolutely do this. 

IKEA for the win

IKEA-this baby bib/jacket/poncho is absolutely brilliant! It saves me an entire outfit change per day! Finding good effective baby products makes being a mom a whole lot easier! Maybe one of these days I'll post my fav baby products on the blog. Seeing that I've purchased enough baby items for a dozen kids, I know what's essential and what you should save some big $$ on. The baby industry preys on terrified, vulnerable, new moms! Those dirty bastards! I've come to realize there are very few products you actually "need". All the rest ends up clogging up your storage room! Or worse, your living space!!

IIFYM+Me=BFF

If I haven't said it enough I'll make sure to say it more-I FREAKING LOVE the IIFYM lifestyle!!!! Tonight's dinner was turkey blue cheese burgers. I didn't get a pic of it all made up bc I fat kid inhaled like it never existed. Before I found IIFYM I ate the "bro-science" clean diet. I always felt sooo restricted! When it was time for a cheat meal I would binge so uncontrollably. It was a heinous cycle. That's not the case with IIFYM eating. For instance, I love cheese so I make sure to fit into my macros nearly on a daily basis. The flexibility allows this to become a lifestyle rather than a 16 week hell hole!

Meathead Moment Monday

 

Can I just tell you I have the best sister-in-law in the world?! She's helping "Meathead Moment Monday" to gain some traction on IG. It's so fun to have a family member with the same interests. We did our entire first prep together, and I really don't think I could have stuck with it if it weren't for her support. I love you sister!...I'll just share my MMM while we're at it: tonight at the gym while I was listening to Nicki Minaj's Anaconda remix, I felt like my butt was so legit big that I was entitled to a little bit of booty pop dancing on the elliptical. It was subtle dancing but it was empowering. 

Shear adventure

Here's the evolution of Penny's self hair-cutting moment. Yeah, so, it was really awesome to find that she'd taken a good ole' chunk off the side. I totally realize it could have been a lot worse, but nonetheless I'm a little sad I can't give her fabulous Ana braids for a few months. She really could pull absolutely anything off though. My little wild woman will always keep things exciting! P.S. It looks like she's super bummed about the cut but she so loves it. I'm pretty sure if I don't keep it short from here on out she'll just take matters into her own hands again...she better not though!!!

Weekly goals

I like to take some time every Sunday night to think about my week and write my goals down. I keep this as my background on my phone to keep me accountable. My first and most important goal this week is practicing mindfulness! I've been doing extensive research on mindfulness and the more I educate myself on the topic, the more I realize that it's essential in order to achieve my goals. I'll post a link to one of my favorite articles on the topic here soon!

The Crepery

We recently made one of our employees head of social media for our restaurant. She's absolutely killing it! She got us 500 followers on IG in 2 days! Our place sort of epitomizes the hipster lifestyle, so we very much belong on IG. I'm so proud of my hubby's hard work and of our adorable collection of 20 yr old college students that make this business a pleasure to run. Hey-oh to small businesses and even more so to such a supportive community! 

5 min meal

Doesn't get easier than this! Rotisserie chicken, simply balanced quinoa & brown rice, and some salsa👌 It took all of 5 min to put together. I highly recommend you try the Simply Balanced southwestern-style quinoa and brown rice from Target. Super easy, super yummy.

Price to pay

I'm researching motivation right now, as I listen to a "Maximizing Motivation" podcast. I think it's so critical to remember this, "there is a price you're paying for staying the way you are." This should fuel us in moments of defeat. I know that I started my fitness journey because I no longer wanted to feel the way I felt. I am listing those painful feelings of self-loathing before venturing into competing. When I dive into those memories, it is like a slap in the face! I remember so clearly that I'm making these sacrifices and working this hard for a reason. I NEEDED to have a different life then the one I was living. Sometimes revisiting why we started a goal, can be exactly what we need to refocus and reignite our passion. 

We ❤️ our birth mom

We got to spend some time with Tuck's birth mom tonight. Isn't she so dang cute!!? Little dude was a grump tonight but we had fun none the less. It's a tremendous blessing to have such open adoptions. I don't think our birth moms begin to understand the love Gabe and I have for them.

This makes me happy

Can I just tell you how happy this breakfast made me??! These carb master yogurts have dreamy macros-9 G protein, 4 g carb, 1.5 g fat. You don't get much bang for your macro buck on granola but 1/3 cup of this delicious mix brightened my day enough to make it worth it! 

Good habits make life a lot easier

Trekking away on my cardio. Wasn't motivated to get to the gym today, but thankfully when you've worked out consistently long enough it becomes such an ingrained habit that you just kind of show up without thinking much about it. That's not to say that you don't have to push really hard to have a good workout every time, but getting to the gym definitely gets easier the longer you do it!

Commitment

I just received this super helpful email from a team member at my coaches company. She's an amazing therapist who specializes in eating disorders. I had mentioned struggling with emotional eating lately and she sent me these suggestions...

"How can you make this goal a part of who you are?" Really resonated with me. When I committed to working with my coach for an entire year(this was a few weeks ago) I decided that this year would be a year dedicated to transformation and personal improvement. That goal is bigger than the food I want to binge on, it's bigger than dismissing a workout. I am committing myself to discover the best self I can be. Establishing that intent is one thing, but I am committing to it so entirely that it becoming who I am. 

Seriously??

Tuck, are you freaking kidding me?? I swear, most days I wonder why I even try to clean my house. Bah. 

1 year transformation

These pics right here, are EXACTLY one year apart. This year transformation marker so much more than a 25 pound weight loss. I truly reclaimed my life over this year. In my before pic, I had very little confidence and not just because I was at my heaviest. I felt like I had no control over my life. We had adopted our son 2 months earlier and we were still reeling from how fast it all happened. We were beyond blessed to come home with our little man within 10 days of having our profile listed online! We were anticipating a minimum of 6 months and thought it'd probably be more like a year. Well, that was not the case!! Anyways, I could go forever about how crazy his adoption was but I'll save that for another time. One year ago I knew that I needed to take charge of my life. I needed to work on myself in order to be able to give my family what they deserve. I had a lot of ups and downs through out the year, and what felt like a ton of set-backs, but I kept fighting. I am really proud that I achieved what I set out to do. I have a baseline now for my next show, this is absolutely just the beginning. This fitness journey is a joy to be on! I love it every step of the way, I truly do...I am really anxious to do this tan again as well. Gabe and I bought the entire ProTan tanning system and we just botched the hell out of it on this first try!!! Yikes. 

Go Aggies!

There are so many advantages of living in a college town, one of them is season tickets to USU basketball games. It's such a treat to have built-in date nights. Love my lumber jack! Go Aggies!!!

No regrets

This is what this period of my life is all about. Achieving dreams that I know I'll so damn proud of when I'm old!

Emotional eating

Tonight I spent some time listening to some really helpful podcasts about emotional eating. I've found that since I decided on officially starting to prep, I've struggled with emotional eating. I have to nip it in the bud immediately. I am indentifying that my emotional eating happens when I want to escape anxiety. I am now identifying what is causing this anxiety and recognizing what I need to do to alleviate this  anxiety in an effective manner. Emotional eating causes some severe self loathing, especially when I'm  coming off of being the leanest I've ever been and to know that just weeks ago I've had total control. I am doing my homework now-which is necessary! I think we often think we need to just have enough will power to change, but I have learned that I need to educate myself in order to successfully change! The Diet Doc has some phenomenol podcasts, all based on science, no dummy bro science BS. 

https://www.thedietdoc.com/shop/emotional-eating

I am going to listen to a few of these, take notes, and share with you my thoughts here soon!

Go-to breakfast

This is what I eat for breakfast the majority of the time...a bagel thin, 1 whole egg, 2 egg whites, and a little reduced sugar ketchup to add some pizazz! Oh yah, don't mind that diet Pepsi peaking through. Every girl has to have their vice, and I will tell you diet Pepsi is definitely mine!! When searching through IG or blogs or whatever and seeing into what prep girls eat, know that a lot of the time there's something you're not seeing. Mine is diet Pepsi, so I will just go ahead and put that out there. I drank it all the way through my first prep and it did me just fine. 

Early AM workouts

I get everything ready for my early morning workouts before I go to bed. I mean everything! In the bathroom I have my hair tie, brush, & toothbrush out, then by the door I have my keys, supps, water, and pre-workout. I nearly have to bully myself to get out of bed though. Here's a glimpse of the notes I have attached to my alarms...

I am a night owl but we have so much going on right now I need to get my lifts done in the morning and then I can squeeze my shorter cardio sessions in the mid morning. In my experience, it is always best policy to get your workout in first thing in the morning, if possible of course. The earlier the better though!

Princess delivery

Penny loves to bring Daddy lunch up at the university when he's teaching. Today she thought it was fitting to wear her princess dress, seeing that Old Main is the tangled castle. I love how simple it is to bring joy to children; a walk around campus, a few elevator rides, and her day was made! To be honest it's not much harder to make Mom's day-I love reminiscing at my alma mater! My kids are going to be so sick of hearing how much mom loved college! 

Meathead friends are the best

Sometimes my sister-in-law and I get carried away in our meatheadedness...

It's such a blessing to have such a supportive group of friends when it comes to the competition lifestyle. A lot of people don't understand, and misinterpret what this sport is. It can be discouraging when people judge what you're doing as vain or selfish, when that's the farthest from the truth. I love my meathead friends and am so grateful to have people that understand what this is all about!!

Setting small goals

Not gonna lie, it's been tough staying on track this past week. I have a hard time staying intensely motivated if I don't have impending deadlines. Jan 31st seemed like forever away until I broke it down with my coach last night...

Competing is not for the faint of heart! You've got to want it like nobody's business to get results. I came in at 135lbs for my last show and it was very clear that I needed to be about 5-10 lbs leaner to be at my best. I am 5'9", it is not easy to hit these numbers!! My body comfortably sits at 140, and I'm good with that for off-season. It's maintainable. 127 will take hustle that I've never exhibited before, but it's goingn to get me to where I am competitive. Whew baby, here's to some holiday shredding!! 

Bobby Flay's #1 recipe

This is by far Bobby Flay's best recipe! By far. It's so yummy, it's pretty much unbelievable. You're seeing 2 different meatloafs up there bc we(Gabe took over when he saw that I was botching the veggie cutting) made mine prep friendly. The other is the full fat version for him. If you make this yourselves(which you MUST) then I'll include the substitutions I made: 

-lean ground turkey for ground beef

-reduced sugar ketchup

-egg whites instead of whole egg

-1/2 the bread crumbs 

-1/2 the parm cheese

...my substitutions didn't sacrifice the flavor at all. God bless you Bobby Flay.

Is it Christmas yet?

To distract myself from the headache of doing November's schedule(we have 17 college students as employees!) I put together our family's Elf on the Shelf calendar. Yes, I am crazy, and yes, I'm obsessed with Elf on the Shelf. My hubby was completely unimpressed with how I spent my afternoon. I on the other hand, am very impressed with myself. This year Phoebe the Elf is going to have some epic adventures!

Mancake consumer for life

I need to be paid spokesperson for Mancakes bc I am always spreading the word about how amazing they are!!! These are seriously worth every penny. You can buy them on amazon(which makes my life easy bc I buy the majority of household goods there). It is products like this that make eating clean fun! They are genuinely better than any traditional pancake batter I've ever had. I added some sugar free chocolate chips this morning. Yummmmm. Buy some, and if you're feeling generous contact the company and tell them they should give me a kick-back.

Fit recipes galore!

I have a give a major shout out to Dayna Deters!! Her fitness website is ahh-mazing!!! The recipe section is sort of die for. I don't know where to even begin, but it's making my meal planning for the week a whole lot easier and more exciting! Check it out for yourselves👅